Today I have not been feeling very well, which has given me a lot of time to reflect on life. To preface what I have been thinking about, let me share a little (related) quirk of mine.
I have this horrid habit that I perform during movies. It is hard for me to sit through an entire picture and wonder if everything is going to be okay, so I usually Google the plot sometime in the middle so that I can know what happens in the end. Nate has started to take away my phone each time we watch a movie because he absolutely detests when I ruin the ending for myself (I just want to make sure everyone ends up happy and alive). I have realized that I have a similar bad habit in how I look at life in general. While I cannot Google what is going to happen to me or skip ahead to the next part, I am always waiting to take the next step and wondering what is going to happen going forward. This often takes away from the present moment.
I was thinking back to each of the different stages of life and how each one is so fun and different in its own way. Obviously no one’s life is perfect all of the time. Each stage is filled with different ups and downs that end up shaping our lives, but we have to remember to fully experience each stage.
A while ago I went through a dumb break up. The whole relationship was kind of a roller coaster and by the end of it I was just so tired and nervous about what was going to happen next. I specifically remember thinking “I wish I could skip to the end to see if I am going to live happily ever after.” It would be nice if we could look ahead in times of crisis to make sure that everything turned out okay. Now I realize that if I would have skipped to my happily ever after, I would have missed all of the amazing experiences I had getting here! I would have missed the butterflies I felt first meeting Nate, having my last first kiss, the feeling of hearing him say “I love you” for the first time, and all of the other little moments that have filled my life with so much joy.
I know that my desire to see what the next step will bring has often clouded my enjoying the present moment. Sometimes I wish that I could go back and tell myself to just enjoy what is going on (but looking backward is probably not good either). So instead I am just going to try and enjoy each stage without trying to hurry to the next! I am a firm believer that everything works out the way it supposed to. Even if things seem like they are going down hill, we are getting placed where we need to be. I will give a quick example.
One semester my roommates and I were having a gingerbread house building competition. This person that I had been dating was originally supposed to be my partner, but bailed at the last second to hang out with his friends. Rude. I was pretty embarrassed and kind of sad that I no longer got to participate! My guy friends decided they wouldn’t stand for this. They told me to pick whoever I wanted and they would force him to be my partner (how flattering). They actually decided for me and told me I had to meet their roommate, Nate (I think you know how this story ends).
Everything doesn’t always make sense in the current moment. I didn’t know that this tiny disappointment would actually lead me to the person that I would eventually marry. That is why we need to live in each moment and have faith that things are going to work out. As Ferris Bueller once said “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
Well, there is my advice for the day. Sorry if this felt like a ramble! I hope you guys do a better job of living in the moment than I have previously done and that you don’t miss your own life!
As always, thanks for stopping by.